googledocsdyke:

dean winchester is like. i have never loved my body because i have never learned to be in it, only to wield it. my body is a tool and a mechanism for ensuring that the right things die and the right people live and nothing more. i spent nine years rejecting michael only for him to finally take me and when he does, he is more present in this body than i have ever been. i put what i must inside this body in order to keep it going, i do not deprive it of a burger or a beer or someone else’s mouth but god forbid i think too hard about sam’s salads or the intricate planning, the deliberateness and care, with which so many people maintain a physical form, because the thought is unbearable. i am desired for my body but have never taught it desire. my body gets me twenty-dollar bills and dead enemies and a night’s relief at the drop of a hat and isn’t that enough? what a body is for? do i have to think more deeply about it? my body is a repeated impulse, signalling to others that i am frightening or fuckable or nonfeminine or whatever i must be in a given situation. i do not know how to turn my body off. so many people and things and expectations and intentions have been inside this body but none of them are me.

seffersonjtarship:

captain-flint:

anyone else felt that sudden burst of pure hope and joy when bobby said cas helped jack restore heaven, implying that cas was there and that dean could actually see him, only to wait and wait and wait, and feel that hope slowly die as they wasted those precious last minutes on sam’s ugly ass wig and dean driving around heaven, leaving you with the worst case of emotional blue balls when cas never showed?! loved that 🙃

and when dean was looking across the bridge like the perfect end to a hallmark movie, wind on his face, and then he sensed a presence and all my hope kicked its way out of my lungs because there was gonna be the gravelly voice we were waiting for, “hello, dean” and dean would turn around and hug cas and say “you stupid son of a bitch i missed you so much” and cas would breathe into his hair and say “me too” and dean would look up saying “me too, cas” and cas would tilt his head im confusion, blue meeting green, and dean would repeat, “me too, cas; i love you too” and we’d get a kiss but wow it was sammy🙃

eldestsistercomplex:

ok so even IF cas doesn’t come back which for the record i don’t believe. i would still like to see dean pray to him at night the way you would write a diary. i would like to see dean carry around a picture of cas in his purse like the widower he is. i would like to see dean fondly smile at sam and eileen and then watch his face fall as his eyes drift to the empty backseat. finally, i would like for dean’s phone to ring after he just bared his whole heart and soul in his nightly prayer and i want cas to be on the other end who tells him “longing is a form of prayer too, dean. thank you for leading me home”. that would still be a good and conclusive ending to their story for me

ratcity:

Sorry I think the reason I’m so stuck on supernatural is because it understands American loneliness kind of more than any other show. Like who else’s pussy was big enough to put an angel next to a vending machine. That’s so powerful. How are you going to have a show about America and most of it takes place on highways and in offbrand motel rooms confronting monsters. Not to mention the uncanny valley of shooting in backwoods Canada and trying to pass it off as Route 66. It’s so perfect because it says America is a distant dream that we can’t reach and a land of ghosts and then it follows through. It says there’s always a war below the surface and we are all fighting constantly to keep it in check. Death drives a hotrod through Chicago. There’s two brothers and a demon in a diner and they’re getting milkshakes together. How can you show a man losing faith with an angel next to him. My brain feels so hot can someone please microwave me.

eldestsistercomplex:

supernatural 15x18 originally having been called “the truth” is actually something that can be so personal because like. the ultimate truth in supernatural is love. the only real thing in supernatural is love. the inherent goodness and power of human love are such central themes of this campy little genre show and it makes me Feel

boykvng:

i know we’re all talking about clowning but redacted going full canon is literally the most plausible option at this point. it’s not a conspiracy theory it’s 18 episodes of extremely meta storytelling saying that bad endings suck, fans know better than writers, and that you should let characters evolve organically even if they go into a direction you didn’t expect them to. it’s 3 seasons of dabbnatural writing deancas as a romantic couple. it’s the impending conclusion of dean’s emotional arc this season battling anger, fear, self esteem issues and disconnect from his emotions that needs a catalyst. it’s cas being taken from dean before he can reply, ending the episode on a cliffhanger that cannot be resolved without cas and without explicitely discussing the possibility of romance between them. we’re not reaching we are employing the barest minimum of critical thinking skills

yesterday in practice I could not stop thinking about what a deathless film would look like, how the book could be transposed into a screenplay, how to jam that sweeping experience into two hours of visuals and music and whispers and snow and blood and romance. I mean yeah ultimately I doubt that a deathless film could really capture the novel because the book is so filled with minute details and scraps of mythology that, if omitted, would make for a more concise screenplay, but it would also lose that je ne sais quoi of the novel, which sucks because I want to watch this so fucking badly. at least, AT LEAST, I would loooooove to see how the scene with marya in her red dress at the door and koschei on his knees would look like, because holy shit that scene is SO. FUCK. it could be a five-minute clip and I would be crying, a lot